Job Description: Long-term team player needed for challenging work in an often chaotic environment. Candidate must be willing to work variable hours, including evenings, weekends and frequent twenty-four hour shifts. Some overnight travel required, including trips to primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and endless sports tournaments in faraway cities. Travel expenses not reimbursed.
Skills Required: The candidate must be willing to be hated-at least temporarily- until someone needs five dollars. Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly. Must be willing to be indespensible one minute and an embarrassment the next. Ability to treat flesh wounds a plus.
Possibility for Advancement: Virtually none. Your job is to remain in the same position for years, without complaining, while constantly retraining and updating your skills so that those in your charge can ultimately surpass you.
Wages and Compensation: You pay them! A balloon payment is due when the offspring turn eighteen because of the assumption that college will help them become financially independent. When you die, you give them whatever is left. The oddest thing is that you actually enjoy it and wish you could do more.
Benefits: While there is no healthy insurance, no pension and no paid holidays, this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth and free hugs for life.
*From Raising and Spiritually Strong Daughter by Susie Shellenberger*
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