I saw this and thought it was cute!!!
Friday, February 17, 2012
Wednesday, February 15, 2012
What if's, Should have's, Could have's
As mom's, at least for me, I sometimes dwell on what could have been, what I should have done or what could have happened. They can come in many forms. From something I said, to a decision I made to what could have happened good or bad by something that I did. This is true for us as moms but also as women. With our busy schedules it's going to happen.
In our young marrieds class last week we discussed what it means to be a re-player. I am the queen of re-playing! Now I could be wrong but I don't think that is something I can change. I re-play things in my mind. I go over it and consider what happened. Whether it was a good or bad thing. I re-play a conversation. I re-play a fun moment that I had with someone. I re-play things I said to to others, etc. BUT...we also discussed how this can be damaging. When you dwell on things you then create a feeling for that person or situation that you create as a false truth.
I can sometimes replay things that could have happened, how the kids could have gotten hurt when I wasn't watching them climb or how I shouldn't have yelled like that. It then affects how I parent. I am too afraid to let them be kids for fear of them being hurt (not that there isn't caution) or next time I let them get away with something because I over did it the last time. This is not constructive. I can't live in What if, Should have or Could have's.
Psalm 139
1 You have searched me, LORD,
and you know me.
2 You know when I sit and when I rise;
you perceive my thoughts from afar.
3 You discern my going out and my lying down;
you are familiar with all my ways.
4 Before a word is on my tongue
you, LORD, know it completely.
5 You hem me in behind and before,
and you lay your hand upon me.
6 Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
too lofty for me to attain.
God know's everything, he knows your thoughts, your heart, your motives. We all make mistakes and God loves us. What I need to learn is how to make things different the next time around. If I'm afraid they could get hurt, I give perimeters that make me comfortable and the kids get to play. If I over yelled I can sit them down and apologize that I'm sorry I over reacted. I can talk to them about how they need to listen or decide on a different consequence that you can use the next time the situation comes up.
God doesn't want us to dwell in the past. He wants us to learn and grow. Just as we are learn and grow in Christ, so we are in all areas of our life, growing and changing. Thank God for his grace as we also give grace to others as well as ourselves!
I saw this picture a few days after I wrote this and thought it was a great one, I had to add it to my post!
In our young marrieds class last week we discussed what it means to be a re-player. I am the queen of re-playing! Now I could be wrong but I don't think that is something I can change. I re-play things in my mind. I go over it and consider what happened. Whether it was a good or bad thing. I re-play a conversation. I re-play a fun moment that I had with someone. I re-play things I said to to others, etc. BUT...we also discussed how this can be damaging. When you dwell on things you then create a feeling for that person or situation that you create as a false truth.
I can sometimes replay things that could have happened, how the kids could have gotten hurt when I wasn't watching them climb or how I shouldn't have yelled like that. It then affects how I parent. I am too afraid to let them be kids for fear of them being hurt (not that there isn't caution) or next time I let them get away with something because I over did it the last time. This is not constructive. I can't live in What if, Should have or Could have's.
Psalm 139
1 You have searched me, LORD,
and you know me.
2 You know when I sit and when I rise;
you perceive my thoughts from afar.
3 You discern my going out and my lying down;
you are familiar with all my ways.
4 Before a word is on my tongue
you, LORD, know it completely.
5 You hem me in behind and before,
and you lay your hand upon me.
6 Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
too lofty for me to attain.
God know's everything, he knows your thoughts, your heart, your motives. We all make mistakes and God loves us. What I need to learn is how to make things different the next time around. If I'm afraid they could get hurt, I give perimeters that make me comfortable and the kids get to play. If I over yelled I can sit them down and apologize that I'm sorry I over reacted. I can talk to them about how they need to listen or decide on a different consequence that you can use the next time the situation comes up.
God doesn't want us to dwell in the past. He wants us to learn and grow. Just as we are learn and grow in Christ, so we are in all areas of our life, growing and changing. Thank God for his grace as we also give grace to others as well as ourselves!
I saw this picture a few days after I wrote this and thought it was a great one, I had to add it to my post!
Monday, February 6, 2012
The Mundane
Life can be mundane. We live in a society of instant pleasure. From fast food, microwaves, to instant t.v. with out commercials! It's hard for us to sometimes just sit. Things are passing us by and we feel we need to join the race. The day in day out can get old. Laundry, picking up the house, doing the dishes...again! We finish a project feel some sort of progress to get up the next day and start over. Many times doing the exact same things we did the day before.
Sometimes I catch myself looking forward to the next activity. Sunday church, Wens night classes, a sports activity, grocery shopping, an event that we've been looking forward to for a few weeks or so. We plan for the next days ahead, preparing, counting down days. All the while forgetting to focus on the present.
Today you have the chance to enjoy life, to love more, to grow more. To teach your children, enjoy the small moments. I sometimes stop when the kids and me are in the car or at the table just laughing at something and think; "These are the moments I want to remember."
We see our kids always wanting to grow up and we think or even say "Enjoy being a kid while you can." For those that are married we say to those looking for a spouse "Enjoy being single while you can." For those waiting for a baby we say; "Enjoy your sleep while you can." But now that I'm married, have children I feel like telling myself; "Slow down and enjoy today, while you can."
I know it's hard when your kids are little you can't wait til they are bigger and sleep through the night. Then when they are bigger and can take care of themselves. Always looking to the next stage. Time does fly and we can't get back those moments spent looking to the future. Days, weeks and months will come. Let's enjoy today, even in the mundane!!!
*Don't Sweat The Small Stuff by Kristine Carlson*
Sometimes I catch myself looking forward to the next activity. Sunday church, Wens night classes, a sports activity, grocery shopping, an event that we've been looking forward to for a few weeks or so. We plan for the next days ahead, preparing, counting down days. All the while forgetting to focus on the present.
Today you have the chance to enjoy life, to love more, to grow more. To teach your children, enjoy the small moments. I sometimes stop when the kids and me are in the car or at the table just laughing at something and think; "These are the moments I want to remember."
We see our kids always wanting to grow up and we think or even say "Enjoy being a kid while you can." For those that are married we say to those looking for a spouse "Enjoy being single while you can." For those waiting for a baby we say; "Enjoy your sleep while you can." But now that I'm married, have children I feel like telling myself; "Slow down and enjoy today, while you can."
I know it's hard when your kids are little you can't wait til they are bigger and sleep through the night. Then when they are bigger and can take care of themselves. Always looking to the next stage. Time does fly and we can't get back those moments spent looking to the future. Days, weeks and months will come. Let's enjoy today, even in the mundane!!!
*Don't Sweat The Small Stuff by Kristine Carlson*
Job Opening: Mother, Mom, Mama, Mommy
Job Description: Long-term team player needed for challenging work in an often chaotic environment. Candidate must be willing to work variable hours, including evenings, weekends and frequent twenty-four hour shifts. Some overnight travel required, including trips to primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and endless sports tournaments in faraway cities. Travel expenses not reimbursed.
Skills Required: The candidate must be willing to be hated-at least temporarily- until someone needs five dollars. Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly. Must be willing to be indespensible one minute and an embarrassment the next. Ability to treat flesh wounds a plus.
Possibility for Advancement: Virtually none. Your job is to remain in the same position for years, without complaining, while constantly retraining and updating your skills so that those in your charge can ultimately surpass you.
Wages and Compensation: You pay them! A balloon payment is due when the offspring turn eighteen because of the assumption that college will help them become financially independent. When you die, you give them whatever is left. The oddest thing is that you actually enjoy it and wish you could do more.
Benefits: While there is no healthy insurance, no pension and no paid holidays, this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth and free hugs for life.
*From Raising and Spiritually Strong Daughter by Susie Shellenberger*
Skills Required: The candidate must be willing to be hated-at least temporarily- until someone needs five dollars. Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly. Must be willing to be indespensible one minute and an embarrassment the next. Ability to treat flesh wounds a plus.
Possibility for Advancement: Virtually none. Your job is to remain in the same position for years, without complaining, while constantly retraining and updating your skills so that those in your charge can ultimately surpass you.
Wages and Compensation: You pay them! A balloon payment is due when the offspring turn eighteen because of the assumption that college will help them become financially independent. When you die, you give them whatever is left. The oddest thing is that you actually enjoy it and wish you could do more.
Benefits: While there is no healthy insurance, no pension and no paid holidays, this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth and free hugs for life.
*From Raising and Spiritually Strong Daughter by Susie Shellenberger*
Wednesday, February 1, 2012
Beauty
There is a phrase, "Beauty is in the eye of the beholder" and that is true. What is beautiful to me may not be to you and vise verse. But when society makes a standard of beauty it many time affects what I see as beauty. A new fashion comes out, one I would not have pieced together, but it is now the "style" and I begin to see it differently and in my mind it can many times become beauty to me as well.
We as women, mothers & wives struggle, at least I do, with beauty. The right figure, hair style, clothes you wear. As women we are naturally going to be into our looks as we care what our husband thinks or even what others think. We worry about dying our hair to cover the gray, clothes to flatter our figure, whether we put on a few pounds, etc. The list goes on and on.
I'm not saying we shouldn't take pleasure in taking care of ourselves. I know I feel better when I eat healthier or go to the gym. Mentally it helps me to feel good. I like to paint my nails and wear make-up. Dressing up and looking nice can be fun. But my identity is not in those things. I can get caught up in the "beauty of the world" and be sidetracked from my beauty in God.
Did you know that twenty years ago the average fashion model weighed 8% less than the average woman. Today, she weighs 23% less! Plus size is now considered between 6 & 14! No matter how much weight I lost I would always be considered "plus size." I am tall and big boned. Could you imagine me trying to loose weight to be smaller than a size 6? Um, that's not going to happen! Most standard clothing outlets cater to sizes 14 or smaller! No wonder I can never find anything to fit right! LOL...It has taken me years to be comfortable in my own skin. And yet I still struggle at times.
13 For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
14 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.
15 My frame was not hidden from you
when I was made in the secret place,
when I was woven together in the depths of the earth.
God made you and loves you just as you are. What we choose to meditate on can affect every area of your life, including how you see yourself. Yes, I may have stretch marks, I have a few extra pounds from multiple pregnancies. I have gray hair and wear glasses... BUT!
But... I am wonderfully made
But... I am beautiful in the sight of God
But... God cares what is on the inside, in my heart
When I think on these things THAT beauty can be seen on the outside. And nothing is more attractive!
We as women, mothers & wives struggle, at least I do, with beauty. The right figure, hair style, clothes you wear. As women we are naturally going to be into our looks as we care what our husband thinks or even what others think. We worry about dying our hair to cover the gray, clothes to flatter our figure, whether we put on a few pounds, etc. The list goes on and on.
I'm not saying we shouldn't take pleasure in taking care of ourselves. I know I feel better when I eat healthier or go to the gym. Mentally it helps me to feel good. I like to paint my nails and wear make-up. Dressing up and looking nice can be fun. But my identity is not in those things. I can get caught up in the "beauty of the world" and be sidetracked from my beauty in God.
Did you know that twenty years ago the average fashion model weighed 8% less than the average woman. Today, she weighs 23% less! Plus size is now considered between 6 & 14! No matter how much weight I lost I would always be considered "plus size." I am tall and big boned. Could you imagine me trying to loose weight to be smaller than a size 6? Um, that's not going to happen! Most standard clothing outlets cater to sizes 14 or smaller! No wonder I can never find anything to fit right! LOL...It has taken me years to be comfortable in my own skin. And yet I still struggle at times.
13 For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
14 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.
15 My frame was not hidden from you
when I was made in the secret place,
when I was woven together in the depths of the earth.
God made you and loves you just as you are. What we choose to meditate on can affect every area of your life, including how you see yourself. Yes, I may have stretch marks, I have a few extra pounds from multiple pregnancies. I have gray hair and wear glasses... BUT!
But... I am wonderfully made
But... I am beautiful in the sight of God
But... God cares what is on the inside, in my heart
When I think on these things THAT beauty can be seen on the outside. And nothing is more attractive!
Thursday, January 12, 2012
Wonder Woman
My disclosure; I came across this book and thought it would be a great way to start my days. Though I love to read I have to be honest, I'm not a big non-fiction reader and I'm bad at devotions! I would like to be better. (In reading it I have figured out that it's not a Christian book but that doesn't mean it doesn't have good info.)As moms we are still woman. Whether we work outside the home or inside the home, we are also wives, friends, daughters and more. Being a woman affects all the areas of our life. At home, work, even when we go to the store. Things can be stressful, we have time crunches, chores to get done, kids to pick up, dinner to get ready. The list goes on and on.
I thought this book fit great for me at this time. I would love to share some thoughts with you as well. I will revise and add my stories to some of the short chapters that Kristine Carlson writes.
WONDER WOMAN!
"I am Woman, I am invincible, I am tired!"
Does that fit you? I know it does me! I learned a while back that I had to cut things out of my schedule for my own sanity. I think all of us have overbooked ourselves at one time or another.
There are time when it can get busy for a season, say for t-ball. When t-ball season starts I know that for 6 weeks we will have a "season" of business. But when it's over we take a break to regroup, we don't schedule anything and enjoy doing nothing. I have learned those are okay, in moderation. They can even good time of busyness. I have great memories of the boys playing t-ball and my daughter playing soccer.
Yet, I have had long stretches of busyness as well. I worked in the nursery on Sundays at our church for 5 years. I have also served on Wens. nights for longer than that. On top of that I went MOMS group and now Bible study. Over a 5 year period of always serving (with good intentions) I felt run down! Yes, my list of involvement was impressive but inside, I was empty. I had to take a step back and realize what was important to do for me and my family. This is not my schedule any longer, I needed to change for me!
We all try to be Wonder Woman in some way. We serve everywhere we can, we never say no (unless we are already booked), or the kids are involved in everything possible so your always running, never enjoying. You have great intentions but there are a few steps Kristin Carlson mentions to help say good-bye to Wonder Woman.
1. Let go of the notion that you can do it all.
2. When you can't accomplish everything on you list, it doesn't mean your inadequate.
3. Be willing to ask for help when you need it.
Like I said yesterday I have finally realized that it's okay that I'm not a morning person, don't get up before the kids and that my house is not "perfect". I will always have things on my do-to list, no matter how much I finish but the kids will not always be here. This is only a season and then the season is gone.
Most of all #3 has been something to this day I have a hard time doing. I have the best in-laws, willing to take my kids and help out at any time but I never ask! Sometimes to my disadvantage. I need a break or help. This week I wanted to go school to help sign my daughter up for High School. It took everything in me to ask my mother-in-law to help. I feel bad asking someone else to help me so I can do something, even if it's something important! But as I get older I get better at asking and say good-bye to another piece of Wonder Woman !
Take a look today and see if there are there is a piece of Wonder Woman to say good-bye to. If you have found a balance for you and your family, that's awesome! I am still working on it everyday, sometimes I repeat my mistakes but that's okay! We are all growing and thank God that he is patient with us! Love you guys!
The Image of a Mother!
These past few days have been filled with preparation for High School for my oldest, Aryianna, who will be starting in the fall! (Talk about stressing out!) It hit me last night that she only has 4 years before she could potentially be moving on in life, out of our house and into her future! 4 years! My youngest isn't quite 4 years old yet! The comparison is just crazy. It makes me sad to realize how fast it has gone! Yes, there are others that will still be at home but that doesn't make having one go any easier! Yes it can be exciting but...well you know. I have heard for years to enjoy the early years because it goes so fast but it's amazing how you don't think about it till you see them growing...and when I look at her now I realize, time really went by fast!
I have struggled with the image of what a "House Mom, House Wife" should look like. But I think, and I say I think, I have learned that not having a clean house is not an atrocity. I have kids, things get busy. I don't have to work my fingers to the bone just to prove to myself that I can. Cause be real, who cares but me. At least in our house we don't have a constant stream of company (though if we do I like to be ready for them!) But our house is definitely "lived in".
Now I have to say that we still pick up daily, do what we need, we have our Saturday clean days but I have learned to be more flexible. Some days we have plans, so it gets moved around or skipped all together. But now I don't feel so bad for it. Right now in this season of life I will never be "on top" of everything. There will always be loose end, more to finish, another project to start. There is always laundry, dishes, dusting to be done. But there will not always be a kid to kiss, cuddle and hug. Cause even when I ask them if they will always let me hold them tight and kiss them all over; you and me know they won't. It's just how it goes.
With that I can't say that I don't dream of a clean house, everything done and I'm ahead of the game but that day may never come. Who knows. All I know is that it's not for now. So, when I can't wake up 2 hours before the kids, have devotions in, a work out in and be this cherry mother who wakes the kids up to the smell of bacon and eggs! I realize that it's okay.
Motherhood is more than I ever would have thought. Along with all the love and enjoyment of life and seeing this little person that looks like you or has your personality. Motherhood is also the hardest things physically and mentally than I could have ever dreamed. All the things you thought you'd never do to your children, you fell like you've done worse! All the things you thought you'd let your children do, you don't. You child not views you the way you did when you were a kid! They think you were never their age and had endless money on your plastic card! They tell your business to others and throw fits in the middle of the store like your on a t.v. show waiting to be Pranked!
BUT...In it all. I wouldn't trade it for the world. I would rather add more kids to my mix before I took any of it away!
I have struggled with the image of what a "House Mom, House Wife" should look like. But I think, and I say I think, I have learned that not having a clean house is not an atrocity. I have kids, things get busy. I don't have to work my fingers to the bone just to prove to myself that I can. Cause be real, who cares but me. At least in our house we don't have a constant stream of company (though if we do I like to be ready for them!) But our house is definitely "lived in".
Now I have to say that we still pick up daily, do what we need, we have our Saturday clean days but I have learned to be more flexible. Some days we have plans, so it gets moved around or skipped all together. But now I don't feel so bad for it. Right now in this season of life I will never be "on top" of everything. There will always be loose end, more to finish, another project to start. There is always laundry, dishes, dusting to be done. But there will not always be a kid to kiss, cuddle and hug. Cause even when I ask them if they will always let me hold them tight and kiss them all over; you and me know they won't. It's just how it goes.
With that I can't say that I don't dream of a clean house, everything done and I'm ahead of the game but that day may never come. Who knows. All I know is that it's not for now. So, when I can't wake up 2 hours before the kids, have devotions in, a work out in and be this cherry mother who wakes the kids up to the smell of bacon and eggs! I realize that it's okay.
Motherhood is more than I ever would have thought. Along with all the love and enjoyment of life and seeing this little person that looks like you or has your personality. Motherhood is also the hardest things physically and mentally than I could have ever dreamed. All the things you thought you'd never do to your children, you fell like you've done worse! All the things you thought you'd let your children do, you don't. You child not views you the way you did when you were a kid! They think you were never their age and had endless money on your plastic card! They tell your business to others and throw fits in the middle of the store like your on a t.v. show waiting to be Pranked!
BUT...In it all. I wouldn't trade it for the world. I would rather add more kids to my mix before I took any of it away!
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