Picking up the "poo" in life!

I finished reading My So-Called Life as a Proverbs 31 Wife a few weeks ago and she said something that made me think.

She was talking about how she was taking her dog out to go potty in their apartment complex. They had an area for dogs to go potty but that many people never picked up after their dogs and how it really bothered her.

This particular day she saw a man walking his dog and as she walked past him his dog had done it's business. She offered to get him a bag (they provided them by the trash can) and not only offered him one but picked it up for him.

She said that she wanted to serve him like Jesus, even if he didn't realize it.  She thought maybe next time she sees him she might get the chance to ask where he goes to church. She had a purpose in mind, heavenly goals!

She didn't just stop there but brought it home. That we as moms pick up poo all day long in our home. Maybe not always literally poo but there are many forms! Laundry, taxiing kids around, homework, dishes, etc., etc. We many times avoid these jobs, putting them off. She talked about how she even replaced these tasks with ministry and other "events".

She thought about her reason for picking up poo for the guy and wondered if that's not also the reason why we do those things for our families!

And then she made this statement;

"We reflect Jesus in the small things so our families can see Him in the bigger."

I also read a book on Joe Elston, from our church. A few years ago he passed away from cancer and his daughter wrote a memoir on his life. He was an amazing father and a great man of God. He wasn't on a huge platform and didn't speak from the pulpit but he considered his role in life important.

Joe was interested in helping others dreams come true.
Joe was invested in his children and raising them to serve God.

It really challenged me on how my children will see me when they grow up. Will I pick up "poo" for my children and consider it a blessing to do so? Knowing it's for a bigger purpose?

Do you feel alone even in a crowded room?

I recently read the book My So Called Life as a Proverbs 31 Wife. I enjoyed the book. I thought the author was quite funny in her quest for being a Proverb 31 Wife. How she fell short in so many ways but in the end shows you that it's what works for your family that makes you who you are.

Anyway, at one point in her book her family had just moved to a new city and she hadn't really met anyone yet. Her only interaction with other woman was in the office. She goes on to tell how as a child she had moved around a lot and it became easier to throw relationships away and replace it with activity. To-do lists and accomplishments. She made this statement, "I think loneliness hits too many of us more than we are willing to admit." Well Amen sister all by myself!

She remembered a conversation about the very thing with a friend in the town they had just moved from. They were two woman sitting together, having lunch and yet they still felt the weight of loneliness!

I don't know about you but I have many times been in a room crowded with other women and still feel completely alone!

I thought it was interesting how she said it was easy to replace friendships with to-do lists. If we keep busy, even if it's activities for our kids and family we don't have to think of ways to develop friendships, which I think, at least for me, can be very difficult.

Growing up I had the same experience. For whatever reason (we were not a military family) we moved every two years. And because of that I had to change schools every two years as well. By the time I got into Jr. High I had been to four different grade schools. It may not have been that many but for me as a kid, it became harder and harder to meet friends. I became very quiet and shy. Even as I got older it was tough to go up to just introduce myself. I to this day have to push away my insecurities to step up and put myself out there for others to get to know me!

But God wants us to have friendship! He created us for friendship with others! Even in Hebrews 10:25 he says; Let us not give up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but let us encourage one another--and all the more as you see the Day approaching.

I was then reading another book Don't Sweat The Small Stuff and it happened to be on Bosom Buddy's. She told a story about how she went with a friend (her bosom buddy) to an appointment together to support each other. They were able to laugh their way through something that was uncomfortable for them do to alone. She encouraged that each of us need that buddy, someone to lean on.

Now I know as moms this can be tough. We legitimately are busy. It's not just to-do lists. We have kids to run around a house to keep in order. We truly have "stuff" to get done. Our lives are so busy! I don't have much time to run out and have "girl time". But I am trying to challenge myself to step out and put myself out there!

I want to become a good friend to the friends I already have. I want them to go beyond the surface. I want to get to know others. Let's put our to-do list aside and invest in girlfriends!

A Diagnosis!

I saw this and thought it was cute!!!

What if's, Should have's, Could have's

As mom's, at least for me, I sometimes dwell on what could have been, what I should have done or what could have happened. They can come in many forms. From something I said, to a decision I made to what could have happened good or bad by something that I did. This is true for us as moms but also as women. With our busy schedules it's going to happen.

In our young marrieds class last week we discussed what it means to be a re-player. I am the queen of re-playing! Now I could be wrong but I don't think that is something I can change. I re-play things in my mind. I go over it and consider what happened. Whether it was a good or bad thing. I re-play a conversation. I re-play a fun moment that I had with someone. I re-play things I said to to others, etc. BUT...we also discussed how this can be damaging. When you dwell on things you then create a feeling for that person or situation that you create as a false truth.

I can sometimes replay things that could have happened, how the kids could have gotten hurt when I wasn't watching them climb or how I shouldn't have yelled like that. It then affects how I parent. I am too afraid to let them be kids for fear of them being hurt (not that there isn't caution) or next time I let them get away with something because I over did it the last time. This is not constructive. I can't live in What if, Should have or Could have's.

Psalm 139
¹ You have searched me, LORD,
and you know me.
² You know when I sit and when I rise;
you perceive my thoughts from afar.
³ You discern my going out and my lying down;
you are familiar with all my ways.
⁴ Before a word is on my tongue
you, LORD, know it completely.
⁵ You hem me in behind and before,
and you lay your hand upon me.
⁶ Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
too lofty for me to attain.

God know's everything, he knows your thoughts, your heart, your motives. We all make mistakes and God loves us. What I need to learn is how to make things different the next time around. If I'm afraid they could get hurt, I give perimeters that make me comfortable and the kids get to play. If I over yelled I can sit them down and apologize that I'm sorry I over reacted. I can talk to them about how they need to listen or decide on a different consequence that you can use the next time the situation comes up.

God doesn't want us to dwell in the past. He wants us to learn and grow. Just as we are learn and grow in Christ, so we are in all areas of our life, growing and changing. Thank God for his grace as we also give grace to others as well as ourselves!

I saw this picture a few days after I wrote this and thought it was a great one, I had to add it to my post!

The Mundane

Life can be mundane. We live in a society of instant pleasure. From fast food, microwaves, to instant t.v. with out commercials! It's hard for us to sometimes just sit. Things are passing us by and we feel we need to join the race. The day in day out can get old. Laundry, picking up the house, doing the dishes...again! We finish a project feel some sort of progress to get up the next day and start over. Many times doing the exact same things we did the day before.

Sometimes I catch myself looking forward to the next activity. Sunday church, Wens night classes, a sports activity, grocery shopping, an event that we've been looking forward to for a few weeks or so. We plan for the next days ahead, preparing, counting down days. All the while forgetting to focus on the present.

Today you have the chance to enjoy life, to love more, to grow more. To teach your children, enjoy the small moments. I sometimes stop when the kids and me are in the car or at the table just laughing at something and think; "These are the moments I want to remember."

We see our kids always wanting to grow up and we think or even say "Enjoy being a kid while you can." For those that are married we say to those looking for a spouse "Enjoy being single while you can." For those waiting for a baby we say; "Enjoy your sleep while you can." But now that I'm married, have children I feel like telling myself; "Slow down and enjoy today, while you can."

I know it's hard when your kids are little you can't wait til they are bigger and sleep through the night. Then when they are bigger and can take care of themselves. Always looking to the next stage. Time does fly and we can't get back those moments spent looking to the future. Days, weeks and months will come. Let's enjoy today, even in the mundane!!!


*Don't Sweat The Small Stuff by Kristine Carlson*

Job Opening: Mother, Mom, Mama, Mommy

Job Description: Long-term team player needed for challenging work in an often chaotic environment. Candidate must be willing to work variable hours, including evenings, weekends and frequent twenty-four hour shifts. Some overnight travel required, including trips to primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and endless sports tournaments in faraway cities. Travel expenses not reimbursed.

Skills Required: The candidate must be willing to be hated-at least temporarily- until someone needs five dollars. Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly. Must be willing to be indespensible one minute and an embarrassment the next. Ability to treat flesh wounds a plus.

Possibility for Advancement: Virtually none. Your job is to remain in the same position for years, without complaining, while constantly retraining and updating your skills so that those in your charge can ultimately surpass you.

Wages and Compensation: You pay them! A balloon payment is due when the offspring turn eighteen because of the assumption that college will help them become financially independent. When you die, you give them whatever is left. The oddest thing is that you actually enjoy it and wish you could do more.

Benefits: While there is no healthy insurance, no pension and no paid holidays, this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth and free hugs for life.

*From Raising and Spiritually Strong Daughter by Susie Shellenberger*

Beauty

There is a phrase, "Beauty is in the eye of the beholder" and that is true. What is beautiful to me may not be to you and vise verse. But when society makes a standard of beauty it many time affects what I see as beauty. A new fashion comes out, one I would not have pieced together, but it is now the "style" and I begin to see it differently and in my mind it can many times become beauty to me as well.

We as women, mothers & wives struggle, at least I do, with beauty. The right figure, hair style, clothes you wear. As women we are naturally going to be into our looks as we care what our husband thinks or even what others think. We worry about dying our hair to cover the gray, clothes to flatter our figure, whether we put on a few pounds, etc. The list goes on and on.

I'm not saying we shouldn't take pleasure in taking care of ourselves. I know I feel better when I eat healthier or go to the gym. Mentally it helps me to feel good. I like to paint my nails and wear make-up. Dressing up and looking nice can be fun. But my identity is not in those things. I can get caught up in the "beauty of the world" and be sidetracked from my beauty in God.

Did you know that twenty years ago the average fashion model weighed 8% less than the average woman. Today, she weighs 23% less! Plus size is now considered between 6 & 14! No matter how much weight I lost I would always be considered "plus size." I am tall and big boned. Could you imagine me trying to loose weight to be smaller than a size 6? Um, that's not going to happen! Most standard clothing outlets cater to sizes 14 or smaller! No wonder I can never find anything to fit right! LOL...It has taken me years to be comfortable in my own skin. And yet I still struggle at times.

But remember these words in Psalm 139-13-15;

¹³ For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
¹⁴ I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.
¹⁵ My frame was not hidden from you
when I was made in the secret place,
when I was woven together in the depths of the earth.

God made you and loves you just as you are. What we choose to meditate on can affect every area of your life, including how you see yourself. Yes, I may have stretch marks, I have a few extra pounds from multiple pregnancies. I have gray hair and wear glasses... BUT!
But... I am wonderfully made
But... I am beautiful in the sight of God
But... God cares what is on the inside, in my heart

When I think on these things THAT beauty can be seen on the outside. And nothing is more attractive!